Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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