just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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