just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Floor bacon is actually really good
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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