I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
