you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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