I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
