my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
