i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
