Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(910): View more from North Carolina

she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.

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(813): View more from Florida

Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?

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(530): View more from California

There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.

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(407): View more from Florida

You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.

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(719): View more from Colorado

I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life

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(630): View more from Illinois

how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend

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(607): View more from New York

I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"

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