i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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