We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
