I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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