She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
