its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
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Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
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It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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