just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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