Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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