i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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