he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
