Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
