I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize