3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.