Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?