I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
