You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
