I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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