I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize