Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
