is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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