You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
