This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
