Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
