her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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