Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
