we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
