I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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