We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
