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i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
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