I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
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How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
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I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.