True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize