There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize