I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
