Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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