so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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