i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize