I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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