i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
