I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I need moral support for this bender
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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