jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
