you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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