This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
