if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
