i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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