so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
