New low: just hacked my moms facebook
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
