So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
