My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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