i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Success! We fucked roommates!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize