I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
