I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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