He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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