this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
